A Sweet Lullaby
by AdamtheGojiFan
Summary: The life of William Shepard and Kaidan Alenko has never been an easy one. But as their lives reach their end, they look back at their life after retiring from the Alliance. This story takes place in the same continuity as my Mass Effect: Aftermath story. (MShenko)
1. A Waking in the Night

A Sweet Lullaby

A Waking in the Night

A shift in weight on the bed side caused him to wake slowly from his deep slumber. He felt his aching body slowly come back to life, and his feet tingled as blood slowly came back to bring them to life. It was then he heard grunting, followed by a series of coughs coming from the other side of the bed. William Shepard looked over to see what was going on, blinking his old eyes several times to focus in the darkness of the room. He saw a dark figure sitting up, rocking back and forth with hands pressed up against his temples.

"Kaidan," he said clearing his throat.

The man did not reply, and he only continued to grunt, and rock back and forth. Shepard could see he was rubbing his temples furiously, which meant the migraines had again come back. They had been progressively getting worse as time went by, and this one seemed to be much more intense than the one the night before had brought forth.

Kaidan then leaned his head back and let out a series of blood curling screams with his hands still pinned to his head. Shepard reached over to him and grabbed the former Spectre with his veiny hands. He placed another on his face, wiping the tears streaming down Kaidan's cheeks. Yes, Shepard thought. They will need to see the doctor about this. As much as Kaidan refused to admit anything was wrong, these migraines are only getting worse for him. What started as something that was like on the SR-2 during the Reaper War, was now escalating to something much more serious, and it concerned Shepard greatly, seeing such a strong man, even in their old age, fall into something so helpless and frightened.

William tried hard to comfort, and help Kaidan deal with the pain, but nothing was working. The man's screaming was only continuing, and the tears continued to pour from his eyes, causing Shepard to resort to his last line of defense.

"I'm getting a sedative," he said moving away from Kaidan, and placing his feet onto the cold, hard wood floor.

He saw Kaidan lean back into the pillow on his side of the bed, and rock his head back and forth. Shepard tried to move as fast as he could, almost losing his balance while reaching for his cane. It held him up, and he made his way for the bathroom. The sounds of whimpering could still be heard from the bedroom, causing the old man to search the Doctor prescribed sedatives. It was then that Shepard got a good look at himself in the mirror. He looked at his blood shot eyes, his grey hair, and the wrinkles formed along his forehead, and cheeks.

Old age had crept up on the both of them, and Shepard especially had seen the hardships of his 75 years alive. They had taken their toll on his physical form, causing his once strong nature to slim down, and a weak body came out of it. It had only really been noticeable by the time he got his grey hair. His body was weak, and almost powerless. Arthritis had nearly crippled his right hand, and his left was almost useless since the incident on the Citadel where he destroyed the Reapers.

He found the blue pills, and got a small paper cup full of water. Shepard made his way over to the bed and felt Kaidan reach out for him with trembling hands. He placed the pill in the Biotic's mouth, then allowed him to swallow the water all around it.

Kaidan's shaking body slowly calmed, and Shepard felt his hand grip slowly relax from its previous state. It made William want to cry, seeing his husband in such a lowly state of being. It had to be taken care of. Shepard had a feeling he knew what was going on, but he did not want to admit it to himself looking down on the man who kept him alive during the Reaper War, and the GFS conquests.

His husband's hands fell from his side, and Shepard placed them on Kaidan's own chest. It got up from his knees, feeling the almost unbearable pain consume them. They cracked as he stood and moved over for the rocking chair where he had slept for the last three nights because of Kaidan. He planted himself firmly in the chair, and rocked back and forth, placing his cane on the arm rest. The rocking soothed his nerves, and his mind slowly stopped running in circles, and he fell asleep after several minutes.

(^^^)

They were both driven to the Vancouver hospital where Kaidan would have his L2 implants checked out. By the time they got there, he was taken from Shepard's hands, and he was forced to stay out in the waiting room as the doctors scanned him for anything. He did not want to admit it, but he had a huge feeling in his gut that he knew exactly what was going on with his husband. It would mean something Shepard did not want to bear, and a gloomy rain cloud roared over him while trying to read something on his data pad. He simply could not focus with everything going on.

"Hey dad," came a familiar female voice.

William turned in his chair to see his daughter walking for him. She then sat down next to him and gave him a small hug. Shepard patted her hug, happy to see she got his message.

She pulled herself away from him a small smile.

"You okay," she asked with a tender voice.

"No, Ash," Shepard replied looking away from her gaze. He placed his face in his veiny hands. "I'm so scared that what I think is going on, is indeed going on." His voice trembled as the thought circled around him. He then told himself to focus on the people moving in and out of the front doors to keep himself from crying right there.

Ash placed her hand on his shoulder and stated, "Hey, don't think like that. Just because it happened to the other…"

"Ashley," Shepard interrupted looking directly at her. "I had to know this day would come. I just," William began to say, but felt another lump form in his throat. "I just never wanted to think of it."

"I know," Ash replied hugging him again. "The Old Man will face it head on, I'm sure."

Shepard smiled at that, and pushed himself from her grasp. He ran his hands across the back of his wrinkled neck, and let a single tear fall down his cheek.

"I love him so much, Ash."

"And so do it," his daughter replied smiling. "And he loves you too. I never saw him when he didn't." She gave another smile that calmed Shepard's emotions.

"Yeah," he said gripping his cane and cracking his knuckles on it. "I guess he does," he then chuckled.

"It'll be alright," his daughter said quietly.

"Yeah," Shepard answered now reassured that they both would face the challenges head on. He then thought of asking her about her husband. "Where's John," he asked.

"He just got promoted, dad," She replied with a smile. "He's serving on the Europa base right now. I told him on what is going on, and he sent his best wishes and prayers."

Shepard smiled, looked away from her, and stared at the white wall to his front.

"You miss him?"

"Always," she said.

This made Shepard chuckle with a raspy voice, and then he stated, "That's the price you pay when you marry a man in the Alliance Navy." He smiled and looked back over to her. "I like Mr. Archer… Mrs. Archer."

She laughed and gave him another hug. Shepard again patted her back and closed his eyes, remembering when she was just a little baby, and the first time he held her in his arms. But, his mind was cut off with the sound of a sliding door from the MRI station.

A doctor walked over to them, and Ash helped her father up. He gripped his cane tightly, mentally preparing himself for the news he half expected to hear. The Doctor walked right over to them, and stood directly in front of Shepard. The man looked into his eyes.

"Mr. Shepard," the man said. "You better come in with us. You'll both want to hear this."


	2. The Canadian Countryside

A Sweet Lullaby

The Canadian Countryside

As the ancient truck drove down the rocky, Canadian road with pine trees surrounding each side. Shepard was not used to the bumpiness of the drive, and tried hard to keep an open mind on the matter. He knew how much Kaidan loved driving the 'oldies' and not the shuttles that most places use now. But he could not help but ask the obvious question.

"Why are we driving this ancient piece of metal," he asked looking at Kaidan who was driving.

"It reminds me of home," he said not taking is eyes off the road.

Shepard smiled and cocked his head saying, "You are heading home, Kaidan."

"Nostalgic too," Kaidan said giving Shepard a quick glance and a small smile.

Shepard shook his head unable to hide a smile of his own. He could not deny just how pretty the Canadian country side actually was. The trees made him so unaware of all the cities and commotion that he had left behind two weeks earlier.

They had just officially retired, and Kaidan immediately wanted to go see his family up near Vancouver. Shepard could not deny his lover's actions. He had nowhere to go anyways. Shepard had no family, ever, and he felt like the Sentinel was only doing this to give him some closure. Shepard finally felt happy with himself, but he still had such large nightmares that he always felt on edge during the night. Kaidan helped him out a lot, but sometimes that was not enough. All the memories of those he had lost, Thane, Mordin, Legion, Kelly, Anderson, all of them. It clouded his mind every hour of every day. Kaidan was the only thing keeping his sanity in check. He felt like he had lost the man a while ago, and now they were still together, and Shepard saw this as a chance to settle down, and have a life he had always wanted.

"What's wrong, Shepard?"

"What," he asked back being snapped out of his thoughts.

"You're being too quiet," Kaidan said immediately after. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just worried," Shepard replied looking down at the truck's floor. "What if your parents don't like me?"

"Savior of the galaxy," asked Kaidan. "Yeah, they'd hate you," he finished with a sarcastic voice that made Shepard smile. "You've dealt with worse things before, and this is what's tripping oyu up?"

"I'd think you'd know by now I'm no good with dealing with people."

"I'm not a person anymore," asked Kaidan looking away from the road for a second.

"You know what I mean," replied the former Commander chuckling under his breath.

Kaidan laughed letting his head fall back into the seat. He then shook his head and leaned forward.

"They'll love you," he then stated making a corner. "I know they will."

"If you say so," William replied looking back to his side and at the passing trees. He then noticed a barn with cows surrounding it in the distance.

"It's like this place was never touched by the war," Shepard replied.

"That was three years ago," Kaidan answered.

"London is still rebuilding though."

"I'm just glad to see everything is still like it was," Kaidan replied. "That's Ol' Man Herrman's old barn. I used to play there with my old school friends before we went to Singapore." He then sighed, and Shepard reached out, placing his hand on the Sentinel's shoulder. Shepard watched as he smiled with the slight physical contact. "I don't know who owns it now, but it looks the same as it was."

"I've never been on a farm before," replied Shepard watching the barn pass away.

"You'd love it," Kaidan answered taking one hand off the wheel and placing it on Shepard's leg.

This made Shepard's smile grow from ear to ear. He shook his head slightly, rolling his eyes to get a glimpse at Kaidan who was still focused mainly on driving. The Commander just let the feelings consume him, and he placed his head on the neck rest to give his back some support. He was only 35, yet his back would easily feel pain from staying ne position for too long. This made him think of why he did not retire sooner.

"Back hurting," asked Kaidan.

Shepard rolled his head and stated hoarsely, "What'd you think?"

"My father knows tricks to easing back pain," the former Major replied. "He'll help you out a lot with dealing with those wounds."

"You know I'll never fully heal," Shepard replied keeping his eyes on the trees.

"These wouldn't hurt," Kaidan answered giving him a quick glance with his brown eyes.

Shepard again smiled, and cracked is back slightly.

"Alright," he said. "Why not?"

"That's more like it," Kaidan snapped. "And I'll see just what I can do too," he finished with a crooked smile.

"Is that a promise of a threat?"

"Whichever one you want it to be."

(^^^)

As he met Kaidan's parents, he could not help but like them. And to make everything easier on him, they were more than accepting of him, especially the Sentinel's mother. She adored him, and felt slightly embraced by it. Her name was Diana, and she was a compassionate person, and now Shepard could see where Kaidan got it. But his father, Derek, was a reserved, more logical old man. That was also Kaidan got his reserved side. But, Kaidan had warned him that just his father talking to the former Commander meant he liked him. This made Shepard feel as close to home as he possibly could. Kaidan was giving him something that he always wanted, and that was a place to go home to that was not on a ship flying around the galaxy.

The Alenko household was located deep into the woods, and only a single dirt road lead to it. Shepard would often just like staring out the windows at the blue, summer skies just to relax, especially when his mind was being consumed by the thoughts of all those who had died previous because of him.

The backyard was large, and housed a small farm with five cows and three goats, and Shepard was too weak to go out and help Kaidan work. This caused him to feel alone, being left inside the house to do what little he could to help.

"What're you up to," came a husky voice that reminded Shepard of an older version of Kaidan's.

Shepard turned to see Derek approaching him with a slight smile. He turned his body the best he could, feeling his back hurting from staying still for too long.

"I was actually about to go for a walk," Shepard said with an almost yawn. He then looked up and saw Derek staring at him holding his hand out. Shepard took it, and the old man helped him stand.

"May I join you," the father asked.

"I don't see why not? I was going to ask Kaidan," Shepard replied.

Immediately, Derek stated, "I want to speak to you, Mr. Shepard. Get to know you a bit more."

This surprised Shepard, hearing the Father speak to him like that. He almost felt worried, but he shrugged, and Derek led him out the door.

They walked up the driveway, and Shepard had a hard time keeping up with the older man, which caused him to be slightly embarrassed with himself. But, Kaidan's father must have noticed and began to slow down to Shepard's pace. His limping made it hard to go uphill, and Shepard felt his weakness creeping up on him. But Derek looked at him almost sympathetically, and made a face like he wanted to say something.

"You look like you're in pain, son," the older man stated with a dry face.

"I got to tough it out," Shepard said trying to quicken his pace.

"Walking only helps so much. I recommend swimming."

Shepard laughed a little under his breath as he limped beside Derek as best he could.

"No, seriously," replied the Father. "When I came back from the War, I was busted up pretty badly. Swimming helped me out a ton!" Then the man looked forward coming to a field full of corn. "It got me back on my feet more than walking ever did."

Shepard felt as if the Father was beating around a bush, like he had something more important to say to him. This made William feel apprehensive and nervous all the more. But, at the same time, he so wanted to know why he wanted to talk to him.

"I have a feeling that you wanted to talk about something other than getting me back on my feet, sir," Shepard finally said standing still.

"Yeah," came Derek. "I did."

The older man turned and made eye contact with Shepard, and it reminded him so much of Kaidan's own gazes whenever there was something serious about to be said.

"I'm damned proud of my son, Shepard," Derek stated. "What you and him were able to do not only to the Reapers, but dealing with the GFS was," the man paused for what seemed like an unbearable amount of time. "Never mind, Commander. It's just that…"

"Call me Shepard, Mr. Alenko."

Derek smiled slightly, then shook his head and said, "Yeah… Shepard… It's just that, when I found out about my son being," again the older man trailed off. "And being that with the 'Savior of the Galaxy', it sent me a little off guard."

"Did you have no idea about, Kaidan," asked Shepard looking directly at Derek.

Derek looked down at his feet, and Shepard knew he did not want to make eye contact with him.

"No," he said after a long moment of silence. "It never occurred to me that he was a… attracted to men, I guess." He then took a deep breath. "I guess what I'm trying to say to you is that I was always expecting him to take home a nice lady, and that he would be happy with her for the rest of his life, like I am with my wife."

Shepard shook his head slightly, a little confused as to where this conversation is going.

"Well, he's definitely happy with you, Shepard," Derek said still looking at his feet. "It's just not what I was expecting."

"Do you have a problem with us, sir," Shepard asked now looking away.

Derek immediately looked over at Shepard and stated, "God, no! It's just that I want to know, and I have no experience in dealing with this kind of relationship, are you going to be good to my son?"

Shepard was slightly surprised with the question.

"You've made Kaidan the happiest I've ever seen him," Derek then said. "It's just that I never expected y son to be settling down with… well… another man, Shepard." He then took another pause, and Shepard looked over at him once more. "Was I blind to see it with him, or was I just…"

Shepard interrupted with, "You're just surprised that your son is gay, and you had no idea for all this time?"

"Yeah, Shepard," Derek said again looking at his feet. "Did you ever tell your parents, or did they find out on their own?"

"I never knew my parents," Shepard answered. "I was always a loner growing up with gangs and drugs." Shepard then looked at the field of corn. "Then the Alliance straightened me out, and Admiral Anderson became my," Shepard then paused. "Dad in essence, sir."

"Oh," replied Derek. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"I understand though," Shepard replied. "Where you're coming from that is. If I was to give you an answer, I think Anderson always kind of knew about me. SO when he found out about myself and your son he accepted it. He wasn't surprised at all, sir."

Derek sighed, then laughed slightly.

"I feel like an ass for speaking to you like this," he stated. "It's just that I'm so shocked to find out like this, Shepard. Please understand where I'm coming from."

"Yeah," replied Shepard. "I get it, I get it." He then asked, "Was that what you wanted to talk to me about. If I'm right for him, sir?"

"Yeah," answered Derek. "I can see that he loves you. There's no doubt about that in my mind. But, do you love him?"

Shepard shook his head and shrugged.

"Before I met Kaidan, I felt alone," he said. "I felt like there was just no one for me in the Galaxy. Then I came aboard the _Normandy_ SR-1, and saw him." Shepard looked down at his feet, feeling Derek's gaze on him. "It was more than an attraction for me, sir. He was always willing to do what was right, and I liked that. We had something mutual between us." Shepard then looked up. "It was just then that we were so caught up in catching Saren that we ignored our feelings for each other. Hell, I didn't even know if what I was feeling was real, or all in my imagination, sir." He trailed off, then spoke again. "When Cerberus brought me back to life, I was so alone. Yeah, I had friends with me from the old _Normandy_, and made some more along the way, but even then I felt that loneliness that only Kaidan filled. It was then that I realized just how much your son meant to me, sir." Again, Shepard felt Derek's eyes fixed on him. He had no choice but to look at the older man. "When we were reunited, and he was hurt so horribly on Mars, I almost died with him." He tried hard to hold back tears, remembering everything.

"I made some horrible decisions without him, and almost didn't cure the genophage because I had no other voice telling me otherwise. That voice was your son, sir. He always knows what is right, and acts with integrity. His voice is what kept me going, and when things went from bad to worse for the Galaxy, he was still there. He held me when things were darkest. He wiped my tears when I felt like there was no hope for myself, or anyone. He comforted me when I needed someone to talk to. He was what made me get up every morning. He was always there, and we fell in love, sir. Kaidan," Shepard began to choke up. "Yeah, Mr. Alenko, I love your son." Shepard wiped a falling tear from his face. "And I'd do anything to protect him."

The Father then gave a small smile, and pated Shepard on the shoulder.

"Yeah," he said quietly comforting Shepard. "I can tell that you would. And I believe you, too." He then dropped his arm from the former Commander's shoulder, causing him to look at the older man. "I do think you're the right man for him now. And you know what, Shepard? I think you're the best thing to ever happen to him, and I mean it."

Shepard then smiled and continued to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"Sorry," Derek then said. "I didn't think it would spark this kind of emotion."

"Memories, sir," replied Shepard finishing his tears and straightening himself out. "Bad memories."

"I bet," replied the Father. "No one has ever gone through the hell you did." Shepard then noticed a difference in his shape. "Come on, Shepard. I'll show you around town, andl et you see all the important places to get stuff, alright?"

"Yeah," answered Shepard. "I'd like that."

"Well then what are we standing around here for? Let's get our asses moving!" Kaidan's father than slapped Shepard on the shoulder, and they walked forward. "You know, I got to ask, Shepard. Who asked who out on that first date?"

"That's a story for another day, sir."

Derek laughed as they entered the road surrounded by corn, and made their way to the town.

(^^^)

A day after, Shepard finished his laps around the pool, and it was his first day of the therapy as prescribed by Mr. Alenko. Kaidan had been out working with his mother out on the Orchard, leaving himself all lone, and he took in the silence, and the sound of wind blowing against the trees. It soothed him, and then whenever his mind got clouded with dread, he would go for another lap around the cool water.

Eventually, his left leg and arm got too tired to really continue moving around. He then let himself float around, and he stared up at the sky, watching the clouds and the occasional transport shuttle fly far above. He felt okay for once. The feeling of butterflies clouding his stomach had gone away. Shepard felt okay, and at ease.

He then heard the sound of a truck pulling up in the drive way. Shepard listened to it, not wanting to lose his train of mindlessness.

"My, my," came a familiar, husky voice.

That was when Shepard shot his eyes open, and looked over at the man who said it.

"Hi, Kaidan," he said sinking most of his body in the water.

Kaidan smiled and stepped through the gate, Shepard watching his every move. He noticed Kaidan's sweat soaked, white shirt, and the pair of jeans that he was not used to seeing him wear. He liked the way the Sentinel looed, and admired the view.

Kaidan kneeled down by the water's edge and gave another smile.

"Just what are you doing, Commander," he asked cocking his head slightly.

"Doing some new therapy," Shepard answered. "Your father recommended it."

"Yeah," replied Kaidan. "He would do that, wouldn't he."

That made Shepard smile, and even laugh after a short while. He then saw Kaidan wiping sweat from his forehead, and crack his back.

Shepard stood from the water, and reached out for Kaidan to help him out. The former Major reached out and took his hand and began to pull. It was then that Shepard saw a moment of laughter for him, and he pulled twice as hard back, feeling a rush of strength in his body. Kaidan flopped into the water with a loud splash.

Shepard began to laugh hysterically watching the other man flopping around for a few seconds.

"God damn," Kaidan was shouting while taking short, heavy breaths. "It's cold, man!"

That made Shepard laugh even harder, watching Kaidan continue to splash around like a little child.

"Laugh, you son-of-a-bitch, laugh," Kaidan snapped splashing Shepard with a gush of water.

The Commander could not help but still laugh, and ran his right hand through the pool and splashed back. It was then that Kaidan began to laugh, and jumped forward, and they began to wrestle.

He pushed Shepard down into the water, as he grabbed the Major's leg and pushed him back. Shepard then jumped as best he could onto the other man's back. Kaidan laughed and tried to get him off as frantically as possible.

They always did this, wrestled or fought. Shepard saw this as a bit of a competition as to what was better: the Biotic Sentinel, or the all-natural Soldier. It was a sense of competition that kept them closer, Shepard thought. He always loved wrestling, or as Garrus would put it, "Sparring".

They made their way over to the shallow end of the pool, still beating each other up, and trying to one up each other. Shepard used all his power into his right hand, and wrapped it around Kaidan's waist, pulling back with all of his body weight. Kaidan laughed, and leaned forward, causing Shepard to lose his balance, and be flipped over the Sentinel's shoulders. He landed with a huge splash, and Kaidan was laughing hysterically. Shepard smiled when he got his head above the water, and pushed his right leg against Kaidan's calf. Kaidan fell in the opposite direction, and onto his back. Shepard laughed hard watching the former Major flail around. The commander knew he had just one upped the Biotic, and now had the upper hand.

Then, jumping Shepard with the unexpected force, Kaidan leaped from the water, smashing him down onto the steps leading into the pool. Shepard had the wind knocked out of him, yet he could not help but smile as Kaidan laughed hysterically looking down at him. The Soldier rolled his eyes up at the Sentinel, and shook his head, beginning to laugh on his own.

He then caught his breath, and stared at Kaidan who was still breathing heavily. Shepard felt his gaze lock with his, those Brown eyes melting his heart further and further. Their lips met with a passionate kiss. Shepard grasped the small of Kaidan's back, and gently moved up and down against his white shirt. Kaidan placed one of his hands onto the Soldier's shoulder, and one beneath his neck.

Shepard placed his left hand on the back of Kaidan's hair, lightly tugging on it playfully. He then rolled his head back, allowing the Sentinel to lightly kiss his neck. Shepard loved that sensation, and still played with Kaidan's hair. He let out a small laugh, and Kaidan backed away.

"What," he asked chuckling.

Shepard pushed his forehead forward, and locked it with Kaidan's. He then stated quietly, "I love you so much." He smiled.

Kaidan laughed, and leaned down again and kissed Shepard's forehead, then nuzzled down to his ears. Shepard continued to laugh quietly, and let Kaidan do what he would do.

"Are you two done," came a female voice from the building causing both Shepard and Kaidan to look up surprised. "Or are you coming in for dinner?"

Shepard pushed Kaidan off of him and back into the water. He laughed as Kaidan stood on his feet, went over to Shepard, took his hands, and helped him up. They then moved for the doorway, and went inside to eat their super like teenagers, and Shepard loved it.


	3. Worst News Possible

A Sweet Lullaby

Worst News Possible

The doors opened, and the Doctor lead both Shepard and Ash to their seats stationed at the front of the room. Shepard wobbly sat down, gripping his cane as tight as possible to give him balance, and Ash held his shoulder giving him some more support. When he finally was able to sit down, she took her seat and looked forward.

Shepard was hesitant to look at the Doctor wearing the white, draping uniform that signified he was high up in rank. But, Shepard knew he would have to, knowing well of what was happening to Kaidan.

"Thanks for taking us on such short notice, Doc," Ash stated giving a small smile Shepard could tell she was forcing.

"We do what we can," stated the Doctor wiping his thick, black hair off his forehead. He then sat back, his slight smile turning to what looked like despair. "Every once in a while, I have the unfortunate duty of reporting something to a family they don't want to hear."

"Kaidan," stated Shepard under his breath, picturing that smile he always had, and his brown eyes penetrating his soul.

"It's his L2 implants," then said the Doctor. "We've seen this with most of those who have the old Implants, and that they," he paused, then took a deep breath. "They start failing."

Shepard looked down at his feet, and tightened his grip on his cane. He closed his eyes, knowing that what he dreaded for so long had finally been confirmed.

"We are powerless to stop the decay," the Doctor stated crossing his arms. "I'm so sorry."

Ash began to cry as much as she could. She was never one to show that kind of emotion, so her shedding a tear in public meant it really struck her. Shepard tried twice as hard to suppress his own.

"How long does he have," Shepard asked looking up at the Doctor.

"Unfortunately," he began. "We can't be sure. It's been different for all cases. Some take weeks, some months, some even years. I'm hoping, with his strength and good health, the implants will decay slower than some. It will help his chances."

"Where is he," Ash asked.

"Mr. Shepard is under stasis right now." The Doctor then paused. "He is being monitored for any further complications. The more we know about is state, the better off he'll be in the long run."

Ash then buried her face in her hands, crying heavily. Tears ran down in between her hands and onto the floor. Shepard watched her do this, and it only pushed himself closer to the edge. But, he had to hold them back, knowing the admiration the Doctor has for the man. He had stated that several times before with other appointments.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor stated looking down at his desk, again wiping his clean hair out of his face.

"What's going to happen to him," asked Shepard looking down at his feet.

The Doctor was hesitant, then said, "The details… you don't want to hear them, Mr. Shepard."

"Tell me," Shepard barked back looking directly at the Doctor, anger crossing his face.

The Doctor looked surprised, then sighed, lowering his shoulders. He then stated, "Alright." He leaned forward, wrapping his fingers between each other. "His migraines will simply get much worse. With the L2 implants, they will decay, causing the Element Zero he was exposed to consume his body. I've already prescribed him the sedatives you've used a few times to take the pain away, but eventually," the Doctor looked away from Shepard. "Eventually those won't even be enough. The headaches will only get more severe and last for much longer periods of time. You'll put him out, and he'll just wake up with that same pain. And eventually, he'll just not wake up, the pain being too unbearable to handle, and he'll die."

Shepard shook his head, again reminding himself of just how much he loved Kaidan.

"Again," the Doctor finished. "I'm sorry."

Shepard looked directly into the Doctor's eyes, and clearly he was having a hard time relaying the information to him.

"Is there nothing we can do," Ash asked, surprising Shepard.

"I can give him something I call 'Zeromothtiicylyn', what it'll do is slow down the decay by keeping his Biotics in line." He grabbed a brown bottle and handed it to Shepard. "He'll need a teaspoon every six hours."

"How's it taste," asked Shepard.

"Awful," stated the Doctor making a grimaced face. "Just awful, but it'll keep him for a longer period of time." He then sighed again. "I'm so sorry, Commander Shepard. I wish there was more I could do."

"You've done everything you could do," replied Shepard. He then looked to the wall behind the Doctor. "When may I see him?"

"You can now," stated the professional. "But, he's still out, like I said."

Shepard looked over to Ash who had calmed herself down. He shook his head up and down, and she patted him on his left shoulder. Shepard could feel his daughter hiding her pain, and he knew she had learned it from his own stubbornness.

"You go, Dad," she stated with a small smile. "I'll go get a hotel room and…"

Shepard interrupted with, "I don't think so! Just go straight to our house. He'll need you," he finished knowing that Kaidan would need some younger help that Shepard was unable to do in his feeble state.

The former Commander gripped his cane, and wobbly stood up. Ash followed, placing her hands around his arm giving much needed physical support. He then looked over at the Doctor who rose at the same time.

"I'd like to go see him, Doctor."

The man shook his head, and motioned for Shepard to follow. He gave Ash one last look, and shook his head, leaving her to return to their home.

The Doctor walked beside him closely as Shepard limped along with his cane keeping him from falling over. The Soldier took notice, and wanted to speak out; feeling annoyed with him, but knew his mind was in the right place. And, it did not help that Shepard was feeling weekend by both the lack of sleep, and the nerves created by the news of his Kaidan.

Others stared at him, limping his way down the ER hallway. Many he could hear were whispering to themselves, and Shepard could not help but feel paranoid that they were talking about him. Most almost looked shocked to see the Commander in such a state of decay, which caused Shepard to brush everyone off.

He took a tighter hold onto the cane, and straightened his back. The pain caused him to flinch slightly, but he held back, showing everyone he could still move, and kick ass if he had to. He had to look like a larger than life character, and he suffered through it, not wanting anyone to see his weaknesses.

As they approached the door leading to Kaidan's room, Shepard looked in the mirror. His husband was lying down, covered with a white sheet, and tubes leading into his veins on both arms. He then saw the several brain monitors connected to his forehead, causing the lump in the back of his throat to grow larger.

"May I be left alone for a while, Doctor," Shepard asked not taking his eyes off of Kaidan.

"Of course," the Doctor replied stepping away, opening the door for the Commander.

Shepard limped his way into the room, and shut the door behind him. He then stood there, looking down on his dying companion. Shepard made sure to see his chest rising and falling, and he listened the heart monitor beeping at a steady pace. Reaching over for the curtain, he shut it covering the window so no one could see them. He did this not taking a single glance off of Kaidan.

"I," Shepard gasped out with a breath. He took a few more steps forward, nearly falling over at the bedside. "I…" He could not finish his sentence, but lightly touched his lover's hand, stroking it lightly. He began to remember seeing Kaidan back on the Citadel after Mars. The memories began to crowd his mind, and he buried himself into the other man's shoulder, letting his mind settle, and the feeling of his companion settle him down. Silently, Shepard said a prayer, looking up at the celling, and then back down to his sleeping husband.

"


	4. Butterflies

A Sweet Lullaby

Butterflies

Shepard slowly woke after a long night. He yawned, then saw the sun shining through the shade covered window. A single beam of sunlight shined down onto his and Kaidan's bed, moving back and forth as the fan blew wind to cool the room.

He found it just a little awkward that Kaidan and he were currently living in his lover's house. Though both Derek and Diana were down on their orchard fixing what they could leaving the house all to them, Shepard never had a home like this. It made him feel out of his comfort zone like never before. He no longer had to worry about being shot at, or losing the love of his life. Everything was going to be okay for the both now. They could now have a long, loving life together. That was all Shepard wanted now, after searching through the stars for something to fight or shoot at them.

He looked down at his half naked friend lying beside him on his stomach, arm thrown over his pillow. The sight caused Shepard to smile. The thought of both of them at peace, loving each other, holding each other close, living their lives the way they wanted from now on. Many would probably see it as nothing, Shepard thought continuing to stare at Kaidan. He never had any of this before, and looking back at his life at that moment, it was all worth it to him. He had his reward that God gave him after all those years searching for that certain someone. But, as time went on, that certain someone was never there. That was until he met Kaidan Alenko.

Shepard leaned down, placed his good arm around Kaidan's shoulder, and snuggled up right beside him, feeling the warmth of the Sentinel's body. He placed his head between his shoulder and neck, closed his eyes, and enjoyed the rhythm of his lover's heartbeat. It was then Kaidan began to move slightly, and the man groaned as he rolled over onto his back.

"Hey there," the Sentinel said with his husky voice cracking.

Shepard only smiled at the man, not knowing what to say. His brown eyes, his morning face, his messed up hair. It all seemed too good to be true. His mind went on and on about how perfect it all was turning out to be.

"Keep looking at me like that," began Kaidan. "And I'll have to continue where we left off last night."

Shepard shook his head back and forth and kissed Kaidan on the temple.

"I wouldn't mind that," he stated placing his hand on Kaidan's bare chest.

"Oh," begged Kaidan. "Don't tempt me again, Shepard." Kaidan then smiled, kissing Shepard on the lips. Shepard absorbed every second of it. The love and passion Kaidan was giving to him made the Commander feel full.

To Shepard's distaste, Kaidan pulled away. He grunted as his Lover stood up.

"Come on," stated Kaidan. "We've got work to do today," he finished going over to their closet and grabbing a shirt.

"Farm work?"

"And a lot of it," Kaidan shouted tossing Shepard a shirt. "Now get up and let's get moving."

(^^^)

Feeding the horses and goats helped Shepard a lot. His left arm was beginning to get better, and the movement he was able to do with left leg increased every day both him and Kaidan were out there.

Feeding the horses soothed Shepard's anxiety, and he did not know quiet as to why. There was something is watching the animals move about peacefully that made him happy inside. His favorite one was a Draft named Traveller. That horse always greeted him first no matter what, be it in the barn, or by the fence leading to that barn. Shepard had no experience with the animals in his past, but there was something about them that clicked in him, especially with Traveller.

Filling the lofts with hey was easy business. Shepard took pride that every day it took less and less effort to lift the pitchfork, and that it took less and less time as well. It meant more that could be done in the barn, and more time with the peaceful horses. He'd grab an apple fresh from one of the trees and feed it to his shining star flat handed.

As Shepard brushed away at the horse's back with a brush, he heard footsteps from behind him. He turned to see who it was.

"Kaidan," he said with a smile as Traveller butted him on the shoulder.

Kaidan laughed taking steps forward. He wore a sleeveless shirt, and Shepard could tell it was soaked with sweat from plowing the fields outside.

Shepard moved away from his horse and placed both his arms around Kaidan's shoulders.

"You know," he began. "You should let me help plow from now on."

Kaidan laughed kissing Shepard on the forehead and stated, "Now, now, Shepard. You know you couldn't do it."

"You calling me a cripple?"

After a while, Shepard watched the thinking look on his lover's face. It made him smile, and admire just how cute he looked.

"Yeah," Kaidan finally said kissing him this time on the cheek.

Shepard laughed hard, and pushed him away. Kaidan caught his footing, and began to chuckle back. That made Shepard even happier, and he charged him. Kaidan's biotics flared causing Shepard to be pushed back onto the hard, wooden floor. It knocked the wind out of him, and he looked around, trying to find where Kaidan was. He got his answer feeling two hands form under his arms, and was lifted.

He turned and looked into Kaidan's brown eyes, and he immediately, almost instinctively kissed him passionately. Kaidan then pushed him down onto a torn apart hey bail, and he landed with a thud. As Shepard looked up to see the Biotic tearing his own shirt off, and falling directly onto of him. Shepard too this opportunity, running his hands all over Kaidan's back.

As the Biotic kissed Shepard's neck, he could not help but give out a slight moan. It was then that Kaidan leaned up, and began to tear off Shepard's shirt with great force. He knew where this was going, and he was going to let Kaidan do whatever he wanted to do.

(^^^)

The days slipped by almost unknown to the Commander. Everything was so peaceful, and in harmony. He did not think that the Alenko Farm would help calm his nerves, and keep his anxiety at bay. It also did not hurt that Kaidan was always there to help him through any hardship he faced.

What made everything better, and easier on Kaidan too, is how well his left arm and leg was healing while constantly working. His limp would always be there, but know it was not hard to walk, and help plow the fields around the barn.

This day had been normal for both him and Kaidan. All the work that needed to be done, was done. Now it was the time to rest, or for Shepard it was time to do some more physical therapy. He undressed, got into his trunks and made his way for the pool.

He did several laps around, feeling the coolness consume is outer body. He then saw Kaidan standing at the edge holding a yellow envelope.

Shepard made his way over to him, and climbed out of the water. Kaidan then tossed him a towel, then handed him the piece of paper.

Shepard gave him a small kiss on his temple, then opened it.

"It's from the Vancouver Military School," stated Kaidan. "I bet they want you to speak at their graduation ceremony."

Shepard gave a small laugh, and was surprised that Kaidan was half right.

"Yeah," he stated. "You're right about speaking at Graduation, but it's not for me." Shepard then handed the invitation back to Kaidan. "It's for you."

"Me," laughed Kaidan. "That's new."

"Apparently they think you did something good once in your life," Shepard joked back. "Whatever that was."

(^^^)

A week passed, and Shepard was happy that Kaidan had agreed to go to the Graduation to give a good luck speech, and meet all the new cadets. It had been the first time in a very long time that they had to wear their dress blues. Shepard actually expected many more of these to come now that the galaxy was falling into place.

They arrived at the ball room, and were greeted by a warm hands and grateful smiles. Kaidan apparently knew the man in charge of this group of kids from back in BAaT. They had been good friends at one point.

A man moved up to them and rendered a salute. Kaidan returned it and the shook his hand.

"Shepard," Kaidan stated. "This is Sargent Major Duncan. He too is an L2 Biotic."

Shepard reached out to shake the man's hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you."

"No, Commander," replied Duncan. "The pleasure it ours. I knew Major Alenko was here, but not Commander Shepard as well."

"I happened to be in town," Shepard replied smiling.

Duncan laughed, and then looked over at Kaidan.

"It's been too long. After you give your speech, dinner will begin. We'll catch up then?"

"I'd like that," Kaidan said looking back at Shepard.

Shepard was happy to see the Sentinel smiling so much. He was always in a better mood than Shepard, but not like this. He could tell Kaidan was loving the attention, and proud to see his friend running the military camp.

They took their seats at the front of the room once the grand march had finished. Shepard was proud to see the cadets reciting the Alliance Creed.

"I am an Alliance soldier. I will always obey the code, and be held responsible for my actions and deeds. I am the defender of Earth. I will always stand up for the righteousness of all and defend the innocent. This creed is my blood. This creed is my life. May I never be tempted to break it."

Once done, everyone took their seats in good order at their given tables. But what made Shepard so honored was how well they all conducted themselves during the toasts. He personally gave the one for the Missing in Action, moved by the candor each cadet was giving, and the respect he was receiving.

After most was said and done, it was the guest of honor's time to speak. Shepard gave him a slight tap on the shoulder, trying to soothe the Major's emotions. Then Kaidan stood and walked up to the podium.

All the Cadets looked at him with gleaming eyes, all waiting for him to say something.

"I'm no good at speeches," began Kaidan shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling. This made Shepard smile slightly and look away. "However, I can say that it's an absolute honor to be here in the presence of the future Alliance." Kaidan gave a smile and leaned against the podium. "You know," he then began. "I grew up here in Vancouver. In fact, right now I'm working on my family farm, but that's not important." Shepard could really tell how nervous Kaidan was at this point. "You brave men and women are going to serve with the Alliance, the greatest organization the Galaxy has ever known. It's a privilege to say that you have been a part of this, and that you would die defending what you love, cherish, and act with integrity at all times. It's been an honor serving, and I know damned well that you all will feel the same way.

"Not long ago, we all stated the Alliance Creed," continued the L2. "It is important not to just say those words simply because it's mandatory to say it. But, instead live by those words, defend those words, love those words." Kaidan paused and clasped his hands together. "For those words apply to everything, every ordeal, every action that you do. Those words define everything in life." He then took another pause.

"I saw a lot of people die. Many were good people. Many were my friends, and I was proud to serve with them. But, it hurts to know I will never see them again, that they are hopefully in a better place." Shepard could tell he was reaching his audience. "Never take those you love for granted. Never give up on them. Never lose your faith in them because every day could be the last day. But also, you must love yourself at the same time because it is you who ultimately make those friends, and make the ones you love. Never forget that as long as you live. Thank you," Kaidan concluded stepping away from the podium.

The cadets all stood and clapped as Kaidan took his seat. Shepard was so proud of him. He had never seen the Sentinel make a speech before, and to his surprise, he was not that bad at it. He tried hard not to show his affection for him, and maintain a professional persona. But he still was smiling like he had never before, nudging the Major on the shoulder slightly.

Later that night, with the lights down and the music blaring, Shepard stood by the bar and drank his drink, thinking back on his life. Kaidan's speech had made him remember all those he had lost in his life. The thoughts made his depression return, and he did not socialize with the others at all.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he saw Kaidan taking a seat beside him.

"No talking," he asked.

"No," Shepard replied finishing his drink. "I don't feel like it."

"You used to talk to everyone," continued the Biotic. "What's the matter? You know you can tell me."

"I miss them, Kaidan." Shepard looked down at his cup. "I miss them all."

"Oh," Kaidan sighed. "I'm sorry. I brought it up, so blame me," Kaidan said back looking guilty.

"Don't," snapped Shepard. "I just," he paused. "I feel so guilty, you know."

"Yea," answered Kaidan. "I get that. But you have nothing to feel guilty of. You saved the galaxy twice, stopped the GFS, and made one man the happiest man in the world."

"Are you trying to butter me up, Major?"

"I would never do that," Kaidan stated in a teasing tone. "Not in front of these cadets."

Shepard laughed, but he immediately felt the butterflies consume his thoughts again. He looked down again and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are you doing okay, Shepard," Kaidan then asked.

Shepard did not know how to answer his question. He knew if he lied, Kaidan would be able to tell. But, he also knew if he told the truth, he would ruin this night for him, and Shepard did not want that. So, he shrugged so a happy medium would be met.

Kaidan's gaze grew more intense, and Shepard looked away.

Reaching out, the Major said, "Shepard, you know I can help you through this. I know you're depressed about everything that's happened. I can help."

"This is something I need to deal with on my own." Shepard then looked over at the Biotic and gave a fake smile. "Go talk with Duncan. You two have a lot to talk about."

"That we do," Kaidan began. "But you're more important to me. Ever since you got the GFS dealt with, it's like you changed." Kaidan gave a small pause to take a deep breath. "You'll be alright. I told you before to look at your crew. Now you just need to look at your family."

"What family," asked Shepard. "I got you, but there isn't anyone else out there."

"Yeah," replied Kaidan. "I know what you mean. You never really had anyone before, but come on you said it yourself. You got me now, and you're never going to lose me again."

Shepard smiled, and wanted to kiss the Major, but held it back, again knowing that the cadets would be watching. He thought of the next best thing, and gave him a tight hug instead. Kaidan moved away not long after the embrace finished.

He sat there, continuing to think of the past. Legion, Mordin, Thane, Kelly, Zaeed, the names ran through his mind, and his depression worsened to the point of near tears. To hide them, he placed his hands over his eyes, and let his head fall onto the table.

(^^^)

On the ride home, Shepard did all he could not to speak. The silence seemed unbearable, but he had nothing to say. His stomach felt so strange, and all his ambitions seemed to drain away once the ceremonies were complete.

"I'm still sorry, Shepard," stated Kaidan breaking the silence.

Shepard gave him a quick glance, then looked back out the window. He wanted to say something, but he knew it would only be in vain. He only watched all the people moving about bellow them, and the dark, Vancouver lights flow past.

Then, the Commander felt something touch his upper leg, causing him to look down at it. Kaidan had placed his hand there, and was squeezing slightly in and out, causing him to feel slightly reassured.

"I'm going to ask again," broke the Major. "You want to talk about it? You know I'm here for you."

"Kaidan," Shepard muttered. "I'm not even sure what I need to talk about when I don't know what's wrong." He then placed his hand over Kaidan's. "I just feel so… strange. I can't even describe it."

"Well," said Kaidan. "We're almost home. You can take a warm shower then and get some shut eye."

Shepard noticed that the Major's tone had been slightly up beat. He could not tell if it was because he actually felt that way, or if he was only trying to make things easier on him. Either way, it was not helping any.

(^^^)

Rows upon rows of dead bodies passed him as he ducked behind buildings on what Shepard could make out were on the Citadel. Hondorus' voice was ringing unrecognizable words into his brain, only getting louder with every step.

Shepard suddenly had to come to a complete halt as the entire area around went black, and stars flew past him leaving streaks of light. But then, the Normandy SR2 was there right in front of him, pieces of the hull destroyed because of battle. Shields looked like they were about to collapse as more sudden bursts of laser fire came from the starboard side, and directly beside Shepard.

He turned to see where it was coming from, and he saw a ship de-cloaking rapidly, and firing several more shots straight for him. This made Shepard throw up his arms as his surroundings turned to pure white. A burning sensation cursed through his body, and it was getting more intense with every moment that moved by. No matter what Shepard tried to do, the whiteness would not differ, and the intensity of the heat was only getting worse.

Collapsing to the ground, Shepard curled into a fetal position as the pain got worse and worse. He tried screaming, but nothing would expel outwards. It was then that his breath became short, and staggered, air becoming hallow and thin.

"Shepard," came an echoing voice that reminisced from ever where.

The Commander did not move, but wrapped himself tighter as his cloths caught on fire. He opened his mouth, lifting his head to try to scream, but nothing was happening as the flames consumed his body. It was then that his skin began to bloat out, and he could feel himself sizzle inside.

"Shepard!"

It was then that his skin began to break and pop open, causing blood to spew onto the ground. His arm split open revealing liquid flesh, and exposing the bone. The veins all over Shepard's body began to pop and explode outwards, then followed his blue eyes, turning into a white paste and they melted to the ground.

"Shepard!"

He shot up, covered in sweat, breathing heavily as two arms wrapped tightly around his waist and sides stopping him.

"Shepard," stated a familiar, husky voice.

Shepard eyes were wide open, and he saw the darkness of their room. He then looked over at the man curled around him, and saw panic and fright in his eyes.

"Kaidan…"

The Major placed his head on Shepard's shoulders. This caused the Commander to calm down, feeling the warmth and the steady rhythm oh his heat. He then tried hard to hold back his tears, and he swallowed, closing his eyes and exhaling slowly.

"You need help," stated Kaidan in a calming tone.

"It was just a dream."

"You've had those damn things forever now," replied the Major placing his hand on Shepard's bare chest. "You know I hate seeing you like this, Shepard."

Shepard leaned his head to cradle the Major. It made him feel the love that he needed to calm himself down.

"I'll be fine, Kaidan."

"I'm still going to set something up," answered the Major. "You've been depressed, not sleeping, not eating. You need help, and people can make it better."

"Kaidan…"

"You'll thank me for this, Shepard." He then paused and placed his lips upon Shepard's cheek. "I love you so much. This isn't the man I fell in love with. I want him back."


	5. Grapes from the Vines

A Sweet Lullaby

Grapes from the Vines

A snapping of the twigs, and the cutting of the rope, Kaidan is doing his job on the vineyard. He tied several veins down, and took a look at the grapes. They were perfectly formed from the perfect weather the last few months.

Kaidan also enjoyed being on his family's vineyard. His parents would go here for long stretches of times, and he rarely was able to go. Now that he had come here for several years with the Commander, it was the definition of perfect.

Several weeks had passed since his last episode with his L2 Implants. The pain was completely unbearable, but it did not slow him down. Despite Shepard's wishes, Kaidan felt the need to keep moving. Being on the vineyard gave him the excuse he needed. Grapes had to be picked, then turned into the juice to make the wine.

In all honesty, Kaidan thought it made him feel useful. Taking retirement from the Alliance was hard for him. It was never easy for him or Shepard. He never had an easy life, but the one that grew with Shepard was enough for him.

He cracked his back, and placed his hands on his hips. The snapping caused quick surges of pain to flow through his body. This caused Kaidan to groan for a moment, and clench his face.

"You know," came a familiar voice. "We can always just hire someone to do that for you."

Kaidan did not want to hear that voice. He braced himself for a scolding.

"Shepard," stated the Major. "I'm fine."

"Like hell you are," snapped the Commander taking a few steps forward. He then shook his head and placed a hand onto Kaidan's shoulder. "You're implants aren't bothering you are they?"

"God, Shepard," Kaidan hollered pushing away from his husband. "It's just my damned back." He then looked down at the veins to avoid eye contact with Shepard. "I just was down there for too long. And, there is a lot more work to be done."

Shepard took more steps forward, grabbing Kaidan by the shoulder again. This time it was much firmer.

"Kaidan," he stated. "It can wait. I can see that your back is bothering you." He then motioned for the house and the Sentinel looked at him in the eyes. "I'll call Jon and Picard over to finish it up. They won't mind."

The Major felt his anger consume his thoughts, and he snapped out.

"Shepard," he exclaimed in fury. "Ever since you found out about my god damn implants, you've treated me like a god damn child!" He stood up and got directly into the Commander's face. His biotics began flair up. "I'm still Kaidan Alenko Shepard! Stop treating me like I'm some paraplegic with no chance of survival." He pointed his index finger between Shepard's eyes. "Start treating me like the man I married all those damned years ago."

His biotics caused his whole body to glow blue. Kaidan then saw the look in Shepard's eyes. They were a mixture of hurt, sadness and fright. This was the first time the Sentinel had used his biotics in over twenty years.

Kaidan calmed himself slightly, lowered his arm, and laughed under his breath once. He then shook his head in disbelief.

"I'm not dead yet, Will," he said looking back at his husband.

Shepard took another step forward.

"Kaidan, I haven't…"

"Stop it, Shepard," the Major stated calmly bending over to continue tying veins as his biotics went offline. "Jon and Luke don't need to come over. I can finish this on my own."

Shepard stood there for several seconds in silence. Kaidan wanted to ignore him, but could not. He knew that his husband only wanted best for him, but he had had enough of being treated this way.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Kaidan stated quietly. He felt his guilt rising.

"No," answered Shepard getting down beside him and wrapping his arm around Kaidan's shoulder. "You're right. I just don't want to lose you is all."

Kaidan placed his head between Shepard's shoulder and neck.

"And, that medicine the doc prescribed," he paused. "It seems to be doing its job. Tastes horrible, but is doing the job."

Shepard nuzzled himself closer to the Major. Kaidan could feel a smile grow on his face.

"And thank god for that," stated Shepard. "But, if you don't want Jon and Luke here to help, the least you can do is let me do some of the dirty work."

Kaidan laughed, and pulled himself away from the Commander.

"You, help me," he gathered. "You've never done this before? And anyways, you're more of a cripple than I am you old fart!"

"I've got to start somewhere," said Shepard with a smile as he grabbed some rope. "And I am not! I survived too long to let that slow that 'old fart' down!"

Kaidan laughed for a long while, and ran his hands through his grey hair.

"Alright, it's simple enough."

Kaidan showed him how to tie the veins together, and Shepard was quick to learn, as always.

"There," began the Major. "Go to the other aisle and start over there. I'll make us dinner tonight when we finish."

Shepard stood up slowly. He had a pained expression on his face. Kaidan watched him with intensely and he moved away.

"Oh," began Shepard. "And Major?"

"Yeah?"

"Never call me 'Commander' again."


	6. Clumsy Kisses

A Sweet Lullaby

Clumsy Kisses

"What would you do if I asked you to marry me?"

Shepard almost dropped his lunch after a hard day's work on the farm. His eyes shot wide open as he the question was spoken. It caught him completely off guard. All he could do is turn to look at the love of his life directly in the eyes.

"God damn it," shot Kaidan as he shook his head. "I'm sorry. It just came out." He sounded like he was about to panic. "I know what you think of marriage… I'm so sorry. Forget I ever said it?" A dorky smile grew on his face.

"I'm just a little surprised at how you just blurted it out like that," chuckled Shepard as he set his plate down.

"Yeah," sighed the Sentinel as he ran his right hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"I thought you were a romantic?"

"Me too," Kaidan replied with a surprised tone. "I just…"

Shepard took several steps forward.

"You're really cute Alenko when you're flustered." Shepard grabbed his hands and kissed Kaidan on the cheek. He then nuzzled his face in the crook of the Major's neck. "You smell like shit."

"I wouldn't be talking," Kaidan said wrapping his arms around Shepard's waist. "After all, working on a barn all day tends to do that to you."

Shepard laughed, and tightened his embrace. He smiled as he thought of all the hell they went through, but how they were still together.

Kaidan began to pull away, and gave Shepard as side glance. Shepard knew exactly what that look was, and it only happened when something interesting was about to take place.

"Oh dear god," broke Shepard. "What on Earth are you thinking of right now."

"I have an idea," replied the Sentinel.

"No shit…"

"Shut up," Kaidan laughed as he gently hit Shepard in the arm. "I'm gonna take a shower, then I'm going to teach you how to dance."

"No you are not," snapped Shepard. "I've got…"

"Two left feet," Kaidan said interrupting while rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I know."

Shepard watched him trail away into the bathroom. He was left shaking his head and worrying about what was about to happen as he heard the shower turn on. Kaidan had always wanted to teach Shepard how to dance. He had yet to do it through. Shepard knew that he was going to be a hard person to crack.

(^^^)

"That was awful," sighed Shepard as he lay on the floor next to Kaidan.

They had spent the last two hours 'dancing' back and forth in the living room. Shepard knew had had failed his teacher yet again. However, he was slightly proud that he only stepped on Kaidan's feet seven times tonight, unlike before. Yet, at the same time, Shepard felt happy that they were together: Kaidan's arms wrapped around the back of the Commander's neck, and Shepard's hand placed on the Major's chest.

"You're getting better," reassured Kaidan.

"That's a good one." Shepard wanted to sound modest. He never liked to glorify himself other than on the battlefield. In private, the Soldier always liked to be reserved. Sometimes, it drove Kaidan insane, but Shepard felt like he had to be. Growing up on the streets taught him to never speak unless it was necessary for he may say something that would have gotten him a knife in the back.

But, those reservations ran further than that. Kaidan had really opened up since him and Shepard had gotten together back during the Reaper War. Yet, Shepard did not. Shepard never would hold hands with the Major in public. He would never show any signs of affection in public other than a hug or a hand shake. Kaidan seemed like he understood because he never forced anyone to do anything they did not want.

After a long moment of comfortable silence, Kaidan broke it with, "You know, you never answered my question."

"Which one again," Shepard said not remembering the countless amount of ones he had never given an answer to.

"What would you do if I asked you to marry me?"

Shepard thought about it for a long time as they laid on the floor in each other's arms. He quivered his lips, and shook his head back and forth as searched. The former Commander then looked over into the eyes of the love of his life, who stared right back at him with love in his face.

"You know what," Shepard stated while he looked up at the white ceiling. "I'd say 'yes'."

Instantly, Kaidan jumped his upper body up, and he looked down at Shepard. His eyes were full of joy, tenderness, and love all at the same time. Shepard loved the sight as he stared up at the Major with the same emotions.

"Really," Kaidan asked excited. "You would?"

"It's not like I'm in love with you or anything," the Commander replied with sarcasm.

Kaidan leaned down and gave Shepard a passionate kiss. The Soldier savored every second. Kaidan's kisses were always slightly clumsy, yet Shepard never minded. He could only imagine how horrible his was. At first, it felt strange, but now, Shepard found the Major's kisses to be adorable, and all the more romantic.

But, in the end, all that mattered to him was that Kaidan was here with him now. They had survived so much, and it was all worth it.

Shepard then pushed Kaidan onto his back, and got up from the floor.

"What," inquired Kaidan.

"I need to move around. Sorry, Kaidan. I know I just completely ruined the moment."

He saw Kaidan smile up to him, and he knew the Major understood. Shepard then held out his hand and he helped the other man off the ground.

"My injuries have left me not as limber as I used to be," Shepard laughed.

Kaidan caught Shepard off guard with another heart filled kiss. He closed his eyes, and let the Major take command as he normally did with this sort of thing.


End file.
